Let's go to prison
Let's go to prison
|Judge Nelson Biederman III has repeatedly sent John Lyshitski, a half-assed criminal, behind bars over the years. Of course John there plans the most marvelous revenge schemes - only to discover after his release that the judge has passed away. However, he doesn't want to miss out on his revenge: he makes the judge's unbearable son, Nelson Biederman IV, to go to prison despite being innocent. John joyfully follows clumsy Nelson into the can, becomes his cell mate, and takes care that no unpleasant prison experience is left out for the judge's offspring...|
|Universal Pictures had thought of something special for the DVD release: On the front cover, the movie is advertised as Unrated. The back cover has a comment on it that says 'Includes Deleted Scenes (to give them some credit: the deleted scenes were in it) and Original R-Rated Theatrical Version'. Well, it sells! So far, so good. At the main menu, one can choose between the R-rated and the unrated version. The R-rated version immediately starts off with the main feature. If one chooses the unrated version, what follows is one of the most disappointing unrated movie versions ever; but see for yourselves...|
|Comparison between the R-rated and the Unrated version. Both versions are available on the US DVD from Universal Pictures. Due to the R-rated remark, the movie runs about 9 secs. longer in the theatrical version.|
|Before the movie starts:|
|Before the movie starts, Dennis C. Stolte (an actual Sheriff, as the movie states) addresses the audience with the following:|
Stolte on the phone:
Dozen eggs, skim milk. Okay I love you.
Now he hangs up and talks to the camera:
Hello, this film is not for the faint of heart. While some story elements have been fictionalized for Hollywood´s sake, it is a harsh unblinking glimpse into the world of for-real, no-shit felons. It will take you into a dark corner of our society, hold you in a headlock and force you to witness distasteful people engaged in grotesque, unseemly, sticky, traumatic, cold-blooded, stupid, lewd, lascivious, dastardly, blatantly inhumane behaviors so heinous that even a hard-hearted, emotionally-dead barnacle such as myself watches with squinting eyes and clenched bowels lest I cut loose with a fear-induced torrent. Young people, especially, pay attention. Try not to look away, make mental notes and must of all, do not laugh, for whether you like it or not, you are going to prison.
|The main feature:|
|R-rated and unrated versions of the movie are identical.|
|After the end credits:|
|The Sheriff talks to the camera once more:|
Well, there you have it. Nasty, wasn´t it? Yes, prison is a truly awful place with jerky people engaging in cruddy behavior. But the one part was pretty funny, where the one guy bent the bed frame with the other guy´s head. Oh hell, it was a hoot. Who am I kidding?
The phone rings:
Hello. Pancake batter? We have some! Yes, we do. Check in the pantry, God damn it. You´re blind.
R-rated and unrated version together on DVD